


Chain Letter

by dubstepgun



Category: Assassin's Creed
Genre: Humor, M/M, dumb
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-01-02
Updated: 2013-01-02
Packaged: 2017-11-23 09:24:58
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 700
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/620590
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dubstepgun/pseuds/dubstepgun
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>For the kink meme. Abusing the email system.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Chain Letter

**Author's Note:**

  * Translation into Русский available: [Chain Letter](https://archiveofourown.org/works/3449414) by [rossignol_hatshepsut](https://archiveofourown.org/users/rossignol_hatshepsut/pseuds/rossignol_hatshepsut)



From: RCrane  
Subject: FWD: The END is NEAR!

Looks like our job's done. These guys have it all figured out.

\--------------------

Dec 12 2012 - END OF DAYS  
We have allowed ourselves to be LEAD by Socialist reptilian humanoids - none will escape JUDGMENT!!! WAKE UP SHEEPLE!!!  
You are educated stupid!!!  
NOW is the time! HERE is the place!  
Despair???? NO!!!!! There is a place for the PURE OF HEART  
Put your faith in CHRIST and forward this to 12 friends and you will be among the elect!!!! SEND $ 20 to @*($^)!&*#^$ and receive the SECRET that will PROTECT YOUR SOUL!!!  
(Paypal is accepted) 

*******************************************************  
From: SHastings  
Subject: FWD: The END is NEAR!

Pure of heart? 

Well. Nice knowing you, then. 

*******************************************************

From: WMiles  
Subject: RE: FWD: The END is NEAR!

Delete it and move on. We have work to do. 

*******************************************************

From: RCrane  
Subject: RE: FWD: The END is NEAR!

ok sorry

*******************************************************

From: DMiles  
Subject: RE: FWD: The END is NEAR! 

Come on, it's funny. 

*******************************************************

From: WMiles  
Subject: RE: FWD: The END is NEAR! 

If you have time to talk, you have time to find a place for that power source. 

*******************************************************

From: SHastings  
Subject: Exploring

While you're at it, be more careful, will you? At least look where you're going when you're hopping around on those things. Those backwards jumps in midair are giving me heart attacks by proxy. Imagine how embarrassing it will be if we have to go back to everyone and explain, "Well, yes, we did have the one person in the world who can unlock thousands of years of secrets from a lost civilization and save humanity. He fell down a hole."

*******************************************************

From: DMiles  
Subject: Exploring

Aw, that's sweet. You're worried about me.

*******************************************************

From: SHastings  
Subject: Exploring

You being an idiot, yes. 

*******************************************************

From: DMiles  
Subject: Exploring

I've found some good places, like the one I showed you yesterday. You weren't complaining then.

*******************************************************

From: SHastings  
Subject: Exploring

Of course not.

My mouth was full.

*******************************************************

From: DMiles  
Subject: Exploring

There's another nice place hidden up out of the way, full of those First Civ glowing table things. 

I bet it'd piss Juno off royally if we fucked on one. 

*******************************************************

From: SHastings  
Subject: Exploring

You have a filthy, filthy mind. Tell me more. 

*******************************************************

From: DMiles  
Subject: Exploring

About what? How I keep sneaking looks at your ass and thinking about how I can get you to make those little gasping noises? God, it's fun to make you lose it. I'll stick my hand down your pants and stroke you until you're hard and babbling at me to get on with it. Do you even know how hot that is with your accent? You could make me come just from talking. I'll bend you over and fuck you so hard you can't see straight, till you're sweaty and moaning and I'm all you can remember. 

Everything's too damn cold down here. Up to us to warm it up. 

*******************************************************

From: SHastings  
Subject: Exploring

So impatient. When we're done with all of this, I'm going to tie you up, and I'm going to take my time. 

*******************************************************

From: SHastings  
Subject: Wait

Just from talking? Really? 

*******************************************************

From: DMiles  
Subject: Wait

Crap, I knew I shouldn't have told you that. Now you're gonna get ideas. 

I kinda like the one about tying me up, though.

*******************************************************

From: SHastings  
Subject: Wait

I've already got plenty of ideas. Once we're out of this cave I'm not leaving your bed for a week. 

*******************************************************

From: DMiles  
Subject: Wait

Now who's the pervert? 

*******************************************************

From: SHastings  
Subject: Wait

You, naturally. I meant we could have a sleepover and play Scrabble.

In between bouts of vigorous fucking. 

*******************************************************

From: WMiles  
Subject: An important reminder

Please note that the Reply To All function is on by default. Further discussion will at no point be necessary. 

*******************************************************

From: 00110010 01111000 00110010 01111000 00110010 01111000 00110010  
Subject: 63 6f 75 6c 64 20 79 6f 75 20 61 6c 6c

73 68 75 74 20 75 70  
73 6f 6d 65 20 6f 66 20 75 73 20 61 72 65 20 74 72 79 69 6e 67 20 74 6f 20 72 65 63 6f 6e 73 74 72 75 63 74 20 6f 75 72 73 65 6c 76 65 73 2e


End file.
